Date: 3/6/2008

MY HEART'S DESIRE

This pain is killing me every second. . . this pain is numbing my sensations. This pain suspends the movement of my limbs. I lie awake at night thinking about our friendship and what could have been if i did not fall in love with you. I lie awake every night because i just want to feel the pain in this heart of mine and i want to savor the taste of my own tears that ran down on my face. There are times i could not breath because these emotions are too much to bear. It is to frustrating to love you and yet i have to build around me a wall because of the so called ''dignity''. It is so frustrating to chat to you and thinking all about our friendship when all i want to say is, '' you mean so much to me''. It is so frustrating to pretend in you when all i want to do is to feel my affection. It is killing me to think that i'm not good enough for you as your Best BearFriend because i betrayed to bond between us by falling in love with you tho i haven't seen you personally.! if crying can take away the air from the lungs, then why am i still alive today? If crying can stop the flow of the blood from the veins, then why am i still breathing? Sometimes i feel also that you are so cruel to my emotions. . . Our friendship developed these feelings in my heart, and it is because of that friendship that every ounce of whole being is in agony. How can i survive in this prison of emotion? Sometimes i feel this pain is like a pleasure because being in pain of loving you is also a pleasure that once in my life's history you became my bestfriend. The feeling is right i guess, but the situation is wrong. In this world which is full of sinners, no one can ever have you, because nobody can take you away from that person who owns you. And with that, i want to stop this crazy emotion of mine.


Comments (1)
Blogs
Main